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What to Do When It's Hard to Have a Sibling

    Updated: Apr 17

    By Iso, age 9, an attendee in Hanover Sibshops



    In February of 2026, The Arc of Hanover launched a new initiative for children ages 7 to 12 who have a sibling or siblings with special health, developmental or mental needs. One of our Hanover Community Collaborative partners, Infinite Abilities Counseling, now sponsors in partnership with us a sibling support group called Hanover Sibshops.


    Aryn Jentz, LCSW, MBA, a therapist and practice owner of Infinite Abilities Counseling, LLC, hosts the monthly groups on the 2nd Tuesday of the month from 5:30 to 7 PM. Dinner and materials are included in the $10 per session fee.


    "When kids have language for their feelings and safe peer connection, they’re more resilient long-term," says Jentz. "We aim to normalize that it’s possible to love your sibling and still feel frustrated, sad, or left out sometimes."


    Sharing about her time in sessions is Iso, a 9-year-old girl with a brother who's medically complex.



    The Arc of Hanover: Who are you?

    Respondent: Iso, age 9


    The Arc of Hanover: How did you hear about Hanover Sibshops?


    Iso: [The Arc of Hanover] Newsletter.


    The Arc of Hanover: Why were you invited to Hanover Sibshops?


    Iso: My brother is medically complex and has lots of doctors to see.


    Iso is excited to share her game board of different feelings, represented by colored shapes on a pathway. She's looking forward to actually playing her game in a future session.
    Iso is excited to share her game board of different feelings, represented by colored shapes on a pathway. She's looking forward to actually playing her game in a future session.

    The Arc of Hanover: Why did you decide to actually attend a session?


    Iso: It’s good. I wanted to make friends with kids who understood what I had to go through too.


    The Arc of Hanover: How many sessions have you attended?


    Iso: 3? 4?


    The Arc of Hanover: What has been your favorite part about going?


    Iso: That we have good rules. You are not alone. Making crafts is always fun too!


    The Arc of Hanover: What is something that isn't your favorite part?


    Iso: That we talk about feelings. Sometimes it’s hard to share the struggles that I go through with others. I love having a safe place to go, but it can still be hard.


    The Arc of Hanover: What has been the most helpful part? Something that you are using or thinking about away from a session?


    Iso: The fidgets that we get.


    The Arc of Hanover: What would you tell someone is a good reason to check out a session?

    Iso (seated) enjoys her monthly Sibshops sessions with therapist Aryn Jentz, LCSW, MBA (standing), practice owner of Infinite Abilities Counseling, LLC.
    Iso (seated) enjoys her monthly Sibshops sessions with therapist Aryn Jentz, LCSW, MBA (standing), practice owner of Infinite Abilities Counseling, LLC.

    Iso: There’s lots of fun crafts and fidgets and you are safe there.


    The Arc of Hanover: Will you keep attending sessions? Why or why not?


    Iso: Yes! It is very helpful!


    The Arc of Hanover: What advice would you share with other siblings that you have learned from Sibshops so far?


    Iso: When you are angry don’t take it out on your sibling. You can’t always help your sibling, but sometimes you can. You are not the parent and most importantly you are not alone.


    The Arc of Hanover: What were you not asked about in this interview that you would like to share with others?


    Iso: I hope that more siblings come!! We have a great time and I would love to meet more kids to share our stories with!!



    For more information about our next offering of Hanover Sibshops, visit our Events page.


    There have been other recent programs on siblings.


    • "Supporting the Whole Family: Disability Through the Adult Sibling Lens" (March 2026) -- a meaningful conversation featuring adult siblings of individuals with disabilities, created by PEATC - Parent Educational Advocacy Training Center. Watch the full conversation here: https://youtu.be/sobTiBxJNbQ.


    • The Individual and Family Support Program's "My Life, My Community": mylifemycommunityvirginia.org/ifsp-archives (See right column, Developmental Disabilities (DD) and the Sibling Journey, March 2026)



    If you want to help people in Hanover County with intellectual or developmental disabilities via The Arc of Hanover, donate here.



    If you are a disability self-advocate, parent, caregiver or concerned citizen interested in writing a blog post for The Arc of Hanover -- on family relationships or any subject -- please contact Sue Jeantheau, Communications Committee, at sue.jeantheau@thearcofhanover.org.

     
     
     

    Coffee Gives Them a Place to Fit in

      By Melodie Fearnow-Kenney, Board Member, The Arc of Hanover, Cofounder, Raise Coffee



      On Saturday, March 7, The Arc of Hanover Thrift Store hosted "Fashion Doll-Palooza," a special sale and fundraiser for The Arc of Hanover, featuring hundreds of vintage and newer Barbie and other dolls. Raise Coffee provided the beverages. Two baristas from Ashland Elementary School signed up to volunteer and Raise cofounder Melodie Fearnow-Kenney shares about their time together.


      Enzo Winston and Lei Lei Shinnamon (2nd and 3rd from left, respectively) work with the Busy Beans coffee cart crew at Ashland Elementary School.
      Enzo Winston and Lei Lei Shinnamon (2nd and 3rd from left, respectively) work with the Busy Beans coffee cart crew at Ashland Elementary School.

      Can we highlight Lei Lei and Enzo?


      Rosalie (Lei Lei) Shinnamon and Enzo Winston are part of the crew known as the Busy Beans -- the Raise-sponsored coffee cart business based at Ashland Elementary School.


      We were really busy at the beginning [of "Fashion Doll-Palooza"], and I was mostly brewing coffee and handling the ice for the cold drinks (Barbie pink lemonade!). But the two of them were a team.


      Enzo took the orders, poured the coffee and even added cream and sugar. He became a pro at putting the lids on the cups with the new "lid assist" device we have (less hand; less likelihood for a spill). We started at 10 a.m., and he worked hard with no break until about 12 p.m.


      We were told by Lei Lei's special educators that she was a master at opening the creamers. (Little fingers can flip the corners of those lids.) She could do so much more! She poured the pink lemonade, gave drinks to the customers, and Jennifer Dickerson -- an occupational therapist and long-time "Raiser" -- taught her how to put whipped cream on the drinks. Then Lei Lei added pink sprinkles for that special Barbie touch!! Of course, she helped several customers get those pesky creamers opened for their coffee.


      Lei Lei loved wearing her Raise apron, just like what she wears at school for the coffee cart. And she danced with me! She stayed past her scheduled time slot and did a fantastic job. Enzo did a great job, too. They work well together.


      Lei Lei Shinnamon and Enzo Winston (left to right, center, with black jackets) served coffee at "Fashion Doll-Palooza" at The Arc of Hanover Thrift Store. Special educators from their school, Ashland Elementary, attended the event to support them serving coffee in a community setting.
      Lei Lei Shinnamon and Enzo Winston (left to right, center, with black jackets) served coffee at "Fashion Doll-Palooza" at The Arc of Hanover Thrift Store. Special educators from their school, Ashland Elementary, attended the event to support them serving coffee in a community setting.

      Lei Lei's mom, Jackie Shinnamon, who also attended the event, said that over the summer break, Lei Lei would miss doing the coffee cart.


      "She would say 'coffee cart' and start crying," said Jackie.


      Before "Fashion Doll-Palooza," when Jackie contacted me asking if Lei Lei could participate with any Raise events, she wrote, "She absolutely loves doing the cart, making her love school even more. Sometimes when she's upset [at school], they'll have her make drinks even when the coffee cart isn't on that day, to brighten her day.


      "Please let me know if there's a place for her to fit in."

      Occupational therapist and long-time "Raiser" Jennifer Dickerson watches as Lei Lei Shinnamon pours a Raise coffee for a customer.
      Occupational therapist and long-time "Raiser" Jennifer Dickerson watches as Lei Lei Shinnamon pours a Raise coffee for a customer.

      I told Jackie that we can get Lei Lei involved in any events we have during the summer. It reminded me that the community events are important, especially when the school coffee carts are closed for the summer. Doing all of those new tasks that come with each event builds confidence in new skills. And it offers opportunity for successful interactions with community members. So many places to fit in!


      And gives me new dance partners!!!



      Raise Coffee merged with The Arc of Hanover in June 2025. To learn more about its programs and to sign up for upcoming barista events, please visit the Raise Coffee tab on our website.


      If you want to help people in Hanover County with intellectual or developmental disabilities via The Arc of Hanover, donate here.



      If you are a disability self-advocate, parent, caregiver or concerned citizen interested in writing a blog post for The Arc of Hanover -- on transportation or any subject -- please contact Sue Jeantheau, Communications Committee, at sue.jeantheau@thearcofhanover.org.

       
       
       

      The Early-Morning DASH to Work

        By Eli Barnum, disability self-advocate and guest contributor



        The Arc of Hanover is running an occasional blog series about public transportation options here in Hanover County. We are connecting with self-advocates who are using transportation services, such as Hanover DASH and the GRTC LINK system. We are asking questions about experiences so we can encourage others to reach out and to learn how to use these services here in the County.


        At 6:40 AM, Tuesday through Friday, Eli Barnum is picked up at his house by Hanover DASH for his job at Autumn Care in Mechanicsville.
        At 6:40 AM, Tuesday through Friday, Eli Barnum is picked up at his house by Hanover DASH for his job at Autumn Care in Mechanicsville.

        The Arc of Hanover: Who are you?

        Respondent: Eli Barnum


        Note: Eli works in Environmental Services-Housekeeping for Autumn Care, a senior care services facility in Mechanicsville. He has also volunteered at The Arc of Hanover Thrift Store.


        The Arc of Hanover: What type of public transportation do you use?


        Eli Barnum: Hanover DASH.


        Note: Hanover DASH is operated by Hanover County Government. It's a personalized transportation program for Hanover County residents age 65 and older and for individuals with disabilities. Read more about how to register for Hanover DASH at www.HanoverDASH.org.


        The Arc of Hanover: How long have you used public transportation? If you use more than one public transportation service, please mention who you are using?


        Eli Barnum: Since August 2025.


        The Arc of Hanover: Why did you choose to use public transportation?


        Eli Barnum: I have a job and my parents work fulltime, and I don’t drive.



        Eli (left) has been a volunteer with The Arc of Hanover Thrift Store.
        Eli (left) has been a volunteer with The Arc of Hanover Thrift Store.

        The Arc of Hanover: How did you learn what transportation options were available in Hanover?


        Eli Barnum: I have a friend who was taking Hanover DASH, and he told me about it.


        The Arc of Hanover: How did you learn to use the transportation system? (Read a schedule; contact a driver; arrange for payment, etc.)


        Eli Barnum: My parents taught me how to use the app.


        Note: Hanover DASH uses UZURV Ride, an app available for Apple and Android platforms. See the Hanover DASH website for more information.


        The Arc of Hanover: Describe a typical day of using public transportation: What do you do? See?


        Eli Barnum: I booked my rides a month in advance. They pick me up at 6:40 AM Tuesday through Friday, and then I checked my cell phone to see when they’re on their way so I will be ready when they get to my house.


        Note: Eli wakes up at 6 AM to be at his job by 7 AM. Because Eli's parents both work fulltime, he needs morning transportation.


        The Arc of Hanover: What challenges or barriers did you face in using your transportation? How did you overcome those challenges?


        Eli Barnum: One day a driver came to my house, but because I wasn’t outside waiting for him, he left before he could take me to work. My dad had to drive me to work that morning.


        The Arc of Hanover: How has using public transportation changed the way you do things?


        Eli Barnum: It makes me more independent.


        The Arc of Hanover: What has been the best part of using public transportation?


        Eli Barnum: It allows me to get to work so I can get paid. It also has helped me do fun things like go to the pool and meet a friend.


        The Arc of Hanover: What advice would you share with others about using public transportation?


        Eli Barnum: Give it a try and become more independent.



        Hanover DASH is funded by Hanover County Government as well as by state and federal funding from the Virginia Department of Rail & Public Transportation.


        Another Hanover disability self-advocate -- and an avid volunteer at The Arc of Hanover Thrift Store -- John Morel also uses Hanover DASH for his transportation to his volunteer position. John's story about using Hanover DASH is published in the Fall/Winter 2025 edition of The Hanover Review, and you can watch a YouTube video with John, produced by Hanover County Government, here.


        If you want to help people in Hanover County with intellectual or developmental disabilities via The Arc of Hanover, donate here.



        If you are a disability self-advocate, parent, caregiver or concerned citizen interested in writing a blog post for The Arc of Hanover -- on transportation or any subject -- please contact Sue Jeantheau, Communications Committee, at sue.jeantheau@thearcofhanover.org.

         
         
         
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